Don't Grow Out of Being Curious

While traveling through Dandora, Kenya, I was called “Mzungu” quite a bit. It essentially means “white person.”

I never found it offensive. In fact, it was funny at times. It was simply the way the kids—and sometimes the adults—identified the fact that someone who looked very different from them had just walked into their neighborhood.

The kids were curious. Some would stand back and stare at me for a while. I could almost see the questions running through their heads.

Who is this guy? Why is he here? and Why is he so white?

Eventually, a few would get brave enough to come closer. I'd smile at them, and most of the time I'd get a huge grin in return. I'd reach out my hand, and I'd get a handshake or a high five.

Then things would get interesting. Some of the kids would grab my hand and start rubbing it. I’m pretty sure they were checking to see if the white would come off.

Others discovered the hair on my forearms and thought that was equally fascinating. They would run their little fingers through it, probably wondering why this strange Mzungu had so much hair on his arms when theirs were completely smooth.

Apparently, I had become a walking science experiment. And honestly, I loved it.

What struck me most wasn't just how funny those moments were. It was how quickly curiosity broke down the distance between us.

Most of these kids didn't speak fluent English. We couldn't have a deep conversation about life, leadership or the differences between our cultures. But that didn't seem to matter.

A smile was enough. A high five was enough. A silly picture was enough. A hug was enough.

Before long, some of them were walking down the road holding my hand.

And I started wondering if we adults sometimes make things a lot harder than they need to be. When we encounter someone who doesn't look like us, come from the same neighborhood, share our background, or live the way we do, our first instinct can sometimes be extreme caution.

Kids seem to have a different instinct.

Curiosity.

What if we approached people that way a little more often?

Instead of keeping our distance, we got curious. Instead of deciding what someone is like based on what we can see, we took the time to discover their story.

Leadership author and speaker Dan Owolabi describes leadership with three simple words:

Listen. Learn. Love.

I think those words work pretty well outside of leadership, too. You can't listen very well from a distance. You don't learn much when you've already decided you know the answer. And it's hard to love people you haven't taken the time to understand.

The kids in Dandora reminded me that sometimes the simplest way to build a bridge with another person is to stop worrying about the differences and simply take one step closer.

Smile. Reach out your hand. Get curious. And see what happens.

You might get a high five. You might get a hug. You might make a new friend.

Or, if you're really lucky, someone might rub your hand to see if the white comes off.

Maybe curiosity is one of the things we shouldn't have to grow out of.